Man who scrolled to the end of Facebook in 168 hours dead.

A young man from a town in county Waterford in ireland has passed away at the age of 55.

Crime scene investigators say he had just found  the end of the popular social media website by entrepreneur Mark Zukerburg.

Friends and family say “It was his ambition”, neighbour Bob Tent said;
“He was a quite fella, yah know.  But yah could see him scrolling away, hours and hours. We thought he was a bit bad yah know,aas we walked to “O’Reagans” for a few jars,yah know.

Enda Kenny Silent on Pig-Gate

I150908_185904_1489016oTextTRMRMMGLPICT000071619054oConcern is growing over the silence from Enda Kenny after #PigGate where allegations that David Cameron had done something distasteful with a Pig.

While David Cameron has remained silent, Irish Prime Minister and all round cool guy, Mr Enda Kenny has not said a word leaving to speculation that he may too have done something wrong with a Pig.

Old Man Reviews Drogheda Nite Club

An Old man in his early thirties has reviewed one of Drogheda’s World Famous nite clubs “Fusion”.

Fusion was founded in 1985 by Mr Fred Fousain a French Immigrant who came to ireland to bring disco beats. He Eventually changed his name to “Fusion” when local imbred’s were unable to pronouce his name. Around Drogheda he is said to be a “LegEnd”.

The Old Man who didnt want to be named for fear of repercussions against his age was quoted as saying;

“Well were do I start… New club new bar thought I’d give it a chance last nite. What do I say except Don’t go!!! As you can see I haven’t rated it on stars cos there wasn’t a minus number… I suppose I should have known better not to go when the new owners couldn’t even put a decent sign up outside! Says it all.

Cheap paint won’t cut it now days…. I would love to say I won’t go again but I couldn’t get past the arrogant door men.

Imagine asking a 34 year old for ID… !!! As a grown man I don’t carry age identity for obvious reasons… Nice way to start off a new venue guys. It’s drogheda your in with already 2 other clubs in a small town.”

If you do see an Old Man in Fusion Similar to the Description Above, Local authorities have advised patrons to purchase the man a pint and pat him on the head and walk backwards very slowly.

Fire at Important Festival

A Fire has Taken Place at a Music Festival In Ireland the “Electric Picnic”. One Witness said “Jasus, i looked away for a second and the tent was gone..i thought i was off my head”.

Gardai say that although the fire was an accident and Property was damaged they are keeping a close eye on the situation, the suspected Culprits are said to be a Man and Woman in there 30’s.

An Unnamed Source Said;  “These young ones will never learn, people in their 30;s should be doing more constructive things than going to festivals for da Young one’s, they should be at home making babies,ya know or other sorts of things”.

Joan Rivers has Died

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“Joan Rivers has Died” reported one website on the internet, the website which cannot be named was unavailable for comment.

All round Old Lady and Ancient Monument to Comedy Joan Rivers was rushed to hospital today in what sources are calling a “serious event.”

Sources in Palestine were said to be “deeply shocked” at the news. According to one man who did not want to name he said;
“im am saddened by the news today”.

Its not known what exactly was wrong with her but sources say she may need to “take a breather”.